Motivational speaker Mel Robbins chatted with us about anxiety, jealousy, and self-love. Mel founded The High 5 Habit and explains the science behind it, as well as how this simple act can change your entire life.
Listen to the full episode here:
Who Is Mel Robbins?
Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker and the author of “Stop Saying You’re Fine: Discover a More Powerful You,” “The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work and Confidence with Everyday Courage,” and most recently, “The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit.”
She is also a lawyer, former television host, and is well-known for her TedTalk, “How to stop screwing yourself over.”
In this post you’ll learn:
- What is The High 5 Habit
- How Mel Robbins invented The High 5 Habit
- The research behind The High 5 Habit
- How to do The High 5 Habit
- Why jealousy is inspirational
According to Mel Robbins, often women feel anxious because they’re managing a persona — how can you remember who you’re trying to be if you’re not being yourself? She believes that authenticity is the secret.
Mel poses the question: When you wake up in the morning, do you want to high-five the day or pull the covers back over your head?
If you feel lost, Mel suggests paying attention to the aspects of your life that make you feel energized, expansive, and full of possibility. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not. So, she developed The High 5 Habit to help people take control of their lives and regain their power.
What is The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins?
The High 5 Habit consists of giving yourself a high 5 in the mirror every morning. It can also be part of a series of small things done daily to locate the power within yourself.
Mel believes that we have outsourced our self-worth and the only person who can build your self-worth is you, hence the first part of the word.
How Mel Robbins Invented The High 5 Habit
A year ago, Mel Robbins was hosting a syndicated TV show, her dream job. But when the pandemic hit, the show was canceled (along with many of her speeches and even a book deal).
Mel believes that when life turns upside down, old things will come up, and she was really triggered by the downward spiral of her business. Just 10 years ago, she and her family were millions of dollars in debt. At the time, her anxiety was so bad that she invented the now infamous 5 Second Rule.
She started having flashbacks and one morning, she saw her reflection in the bathroom and thought, “oh god you look like hell.”
Mel Robbins knows that once you have a negative thought, it starts to gather and create more. She also believes that most of us don’t realize that our morning routine includes either ignoring or criticizing ourselves in the mirror.
Despite being a motivational speaker, Mel couldn’t think of anything to say to herself — she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. Without reason, she raised her hand and high-fived her reflection, and silently felt herself say, “I got this.”
The Research Behind the High 5 Habit
When you raise your hand to give a high 5, you can’t criticize yourself, and here is why:
- When you give or receive a high 5, you’re saying, “I believe in you,” “shake it off,” “you can do it.” This is positive programming that has been encoded in our brains.
- The High 5 Habit marries an unexpected physical action with a change of thought, which is the fastest way to develop new neuropathways.
- Raising your hand is remembered in your nervous system as a celebratory activity, triggering a hit of dopamine. Think about all of the times you raise your hands, like when you hug someone, pat someone on the back, cross a finish line, etc.
Although Mel didn’t know any of this at first, she realized she was onto something after doing The High 5 Habit for a few weeks. It’s designed for investing and strengthening the relationship that you have with yourself.
How To Do the High 5 Habit
Mel says that you have to do the High 5 Habit for 5 days and that 90% of people who try this will feel major resistance. The resistance to high-fiving yourself is the exact same resistance that stands before you and everything that you want in your life.
When we look in the mirror, most of us do not see a person who is worthy of celebration. Mel explains that we have to learn how to celebrate ourselves every day like our lives depend on it, because they do.
Bonus Tip: Why Jealousy Is Inspirational
Mel believes that it is impossible to be jealous of people who have something you don’t want and that our insecurities are what make us say that we can’t have something. She suggests that every time we feel jealous to stop and be curious because it’s a directional symbol.
When you don’t follow your jealousy towards the thing that you want, it’ll haunt you. Jealousy should be looked at as inspiration.
The most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship that you have with yourself. If you’re insecure with yourself, you will be insecure in every relationship you have. Likewise, if you don’t love yourself, you will not let other people love you.
We can reprogram the default settings of your mind, and The High 5 Habit can help you to do so.